Along the crook of where ocean meets land
I find myself walking over sea glass;
treasured gems in reverse,
not found in nature and refined by man
but having been discarded by man
has been refined by nature
I pick up a piece and ask it a number of questions.
What onslaughts have you withstood
to become so smooth and beautiful?
How many times did you wonder
if all the ocean's tumbling was worth
this beauty you could not have seen
along the way?
Where did you gather strength
to endure years pitched about
after being pitched out?
What does the voice of God sound like...
when it bores through self-hatred
and burnishes your broken edges?
How did you stay strong without fracture?
How did you patiently await the vision
of what you would become?
I slip the gem into my pocket
and I can hear it look me in the heart to say,
"I have al the same questions for you?"
Revive Me
Wilderness Journey
Another door closed for us this week. I apologize for the impersonal fb post, but I know a lot of you have been praying and walking with us, and I didn't want to miss anyone. We continue to journey through a wilderness time of our lives that began in June. I know enduring a wilderness time, one will either mature and learn or disintegrate. We have learned a great deal about God, our family, myself, and life in this time. I must also say I am weary and tired. I identify with Israel as they journeyed through the wilderness and wondered why God would do this. I know the feeling of desperation to hear from Him. I know the sense of silence on the other end. I know the questions which ambush the heart and mind regarding your identity, your value, your calling, your talents, your gifts.
I know the psalmist's indignant prayer to "ANSWER ME, my God!" I know how to wonder how long will He stay silent. I know how, with Job, to hold on to the integrity of my heart while coming toe to toe with my God in prayer. I also know how to trust and say, 'surely goodness will follow me all the days of my life.' I know God is good. I know he works all things for my good, and He will do so.
Thank you so much family and friends for your prayers and encouragement. They give me strength for the long haul. God is good to me! You are proof of this.
Whom have I
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the LORD God my refuge, That I may tell of all Your work. - Psalm 73:25-28
---------
"Whom have I in heaven but You?" If I got to heaven and received all the promises of heaven, but God was not there, would I still want to go? If Jesus were not there, do I still even want it? I want to live a life now where I desire nothing but Jesus. I want god to be my only desire; not his blessings, not peace, not joy, but God alone. I want my heart to live a life by which God IS MY FULL PORTION forever; where my heart and mind fully realize that my greatest good in life is nearness to God.
I desire for God to be my greatest desire; not only His blessings, joy, peace, or provision. All those things are OF GOD, and that means peace, joy, provision, and refuge will only be found in Him.
This means that God is strength and refuge. He will only be MY refuge when i am found near and in Him.
What do you want from me?
How often I've asked and heard this question asked? In its various forms, the question is our heart's scream to know what or what more God wants from us?
More and more, I believe the answer comes down to one thing.
Jesus replies, "Love the LORD your God with all of your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. This is the greatest commandment." (Matthew 22:37-38)
As I am daily ambushed by God's outrageous love for me, I am more and more convinced that seeking God's will for my life is the wrong search. But I should search for His will in my life, and His will is the same as it has always been.
He wants you to love Him with all that you are. Your experiencing God depends on you having a sincere and real relationship of love. I am more and more convinced that this is more important than any.thing.else in your life.
Every decision, big or small, everything in your Christian life, everything about knowing God and knowing His will is fully dependent on the intimacy of your love relationship with God.
If this lynchpin is not in place, nothing...nothing in your life will be right.
Peace and strength
"The Lord will give strength to his people;
The Lord will bless his people with peace."
Psalm 29.11
God, I am strongest when I am in your peace. I am strongest when I rest in a peace only you and your presence can give to me. Please help me know your peace. Help my heart, mind, and soul experience peace only you can give to me. I am weak, timid, and weary, but I can know strength in peace if you give to me both. I cannot give myself real peace. Only your gospel working change in me can give me peace where I would not otherwise know peace; in the places I would normally stress, freak out, give up, and fail.
Help me know peace in those moments and in those places. Change my weary and bedraggled heart to know peace. Give me peace and change me that I may know a strength I cannot attain myself.
CONTENTMENT WAS NEVER SO HARD
"For the sake of Christ, then, I am CONTENT with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:10
Would I be CONTENT with these things? I am not wondering, as I normally do, whether or not I would accept these things, but would I really be CONTENT with them?
The true heart of reliance on God's strength is far more than accepting these things, but is truly content in and through them.