Old prayer for brokenness

God, Please let me back among the broken, meek, and humble. I don't know how much longer I can handle being among those who know it all, have it all together, and are unwilling to be broken, uncomfortable and bedraggled. Please let me be back in a place where it is okay to be bedraggled, ruffled, confused, and searching. Back in a place where we believe you reach down in our discomfort and humility and embrace us.

My heart aches for brokenness and the freedom to be such.

* I found this prayer in an old journal. Perhaps you are praying a similar prayer today.

Unclean

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Reading in Mark brings me across 1:40-45, his account of the man with leprosy. Just before this passage, Jesus told his disciples they were going to move on to the next city--so Jesus could preach there also. This is where they encounter the leper, which makes perfect sense because that was where lepers belonged. They were banished because they were ceremonially and societally UNCLEAN.

This man comes to Jesus begging to be healed of the leprosy, and Jesus brings him so much more. Yes, Jesus takes away the leprosy because his compassionate healing heart was willing to do so (1:41). But then the last phrase of that verse is the greatest part to me today. Jesus says to the man, "I am willing. BE CLEAN!" This had to be some of the greatest news to this man. This shows Jesus' ability to heal more than the physical ailment.

For, who knows how many years, this man had to go among the streets of the town screaming, "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!" Though leprosy was not something this man chose out of his own free will, he was still seen as ceremonially and societally unclean. The shame he must have felt as an outcast is more than I can really imagine.

But Jesus did not only heal the disease, but he says to the man, "BE CLEAN!" SO to say, "Now go into the town, and know that you are NOT unclean. You are clean. You are to be known as clean. You are not an outcast! You are ceremonially and societally CLEAN!"

I cannot imagine the freedom this man must have felt to know he was no longer unclean. Yes, he was miraculously healed of leprosy, but this man has now been told that after so many years, he is NOW acceptable, valuable and approachable. He is no longer UNCLEAN.

I also see a lot of people who are ceremonially and societally unclean, and I know that homelessness is not contagious; nor is poverty, drug addiction, prostitution, divorce, jail time, and sin. I know these things are not contagious, but I have seen many of these people made to be ceremonially and societally UNCLEAN! I cannot imagine the freedom God would bring to these people through healing of their ailments and situations. But my heart aches more at the fact that these people are falsely determined and branded UNCLEAN! I believe Jesus would walk among these people, yes, healing their ailments, but not only that. I think Jesus would go beyond that to say, "I am willing. BE CLEAN!!"

Now the question is: Will I be the only reflection of Jesus these people may ever know?

2012 in review of ragamuffinpc.com

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here's an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 13,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 3 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

Pursuit in 2013

DSC_0156 In 2013, I would like to pursue more diligently what God is guiding me after as it relates to speaking, performing, and writing. You can help in that pursuit. I have listed a few ways below. Please consider how you would like to help and be involved.

You who have been faithful readers at ragamuffinpc.com are so greatly appreciated; I want you to know that. You are the ones who can help me pursue these next steps next year.

FREE OPTIONS Share Share Share - You may not have any idea how much of a great help it is when you share my posts on your facebook, twitter, blog, or other social media routes you are involved in. If you appreciate something you read, please take a moment to click and share. This helps immensely.

Tell, Tell, Tell - Please tell others about ragamuffinpc.com If you have found encouragement, humor, or anything else here, please tell others about it who might also enjoy what you have found here.

MINIMAL COST OPTION Get the EP - I have created a short spoken word poetry ep with 4 tracks. I started it out at $5, but I removed it and made it 'name your own price'. You can name your price at $0.00 if you wish and get the album for free. This helps me get my work out there. It is only a beginning. I am writing more than I have in the past. I want to move toward a full length, better produced album. Get the ep here.

BESTEST BEST OPTION (MAYBE EVEN FREE TO YOU) Hire or Recommend Me - I would like to begin speaking for groups, retreats, camps, chapels, convocations, churches, or anywhere you will have me in the next year. If you need a speaker for your event, please consider me. My honorarium is very manageable (typically $100/talk + travel, but I can chat if even that is too much). You can find more info at my speaking page.

If you know someone who has a need for a speaker or spoken word poet or emcee, please put in a good word and direct their attention to my speaking page. These are the best helps to me.

----

Thank you again for all of your support and continued reading. I will continue to write and produce the words God gives me here at ragamuffinpc.com

Risk, Trust, and one of my all-time favorite movies

eternal-sunshine-of-the-spotless-mind One of my top 5 favorite movies is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There are elements of realizing the memories we wish we could eliminate, and how important even those memories are. It shows the parts of our hearts we often overlook as either expected or painful and thus necessary to cover up or forget. The movie really is wonderful, full of great quotes and scenes; like the very first spoken line, “Valentines Day is a day created by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.” But the very last scene is my favorite. The scene goes like this:

Joel: I can’t see anything that I don’t like about you. Clementine: But you will Joel: Right now I can’t Clementine: But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that’s what happens with me. [Joel shrugs] Joel: Okay [Clementine nods…Joel smiles] Clementine: Okay [Clementine cries, but laughs] Clementine: okay Joel: Okay [They both laugh]

I love this scene and what it has to offer to us. It is a great reminder for those of us who are in relationships. We spend so much of our lives trying to run away from people because we are afraid of not liking something about them. We are afraid of getting bored with something they do. We get afraid that they will run away from us. We’re afraid that something will come up that we don’t like, and “then it will be too late.” I love Joel’s response, “Okay.” It signifies the realization that Clementine will probably find something boring about him. He probably will find something he doesn’t like about her later. But okay! If we thought we could wait until a relationship that would be absolutely perfect, without arguments, annoyances, pain, temptations, we will be waiting forever. By saying, “Okay,” Joel opens himself to trust Clementine. Real trust! A trust that says, “Okay! Fine! You will likely do something I don’t like, but I love you and I trust you. Let’s do this.” As if to say, “That’s a risk we gotta take.” Its not even that it was a risk. It was simply an expectation we have to be willing to take. We have to be willing to understand that things like that will happen. We will find something we don’t like, but are we willing to love them and trust that they love us anyway? Okay.

,

What do you want me to do

,

In Matthew 20, Jesus asks some blind men, "What do you want me to do for you?" Why would Jesus ask them this? I mean one, we know that Jesus is all-knowing. He knows what they need. But two, come on, anybody walking by would know what these men need. They're freaking blind! It is obvious that these men want and need their sight. EVEN I CAN SEE THAT! (see what I did there) Of course a study and reflection of the passage lets us see Jesus want to be asked. He wants to be desired. We can study forever the reasons Jesus would actually ask what these men want him to do. Jesus did that all the time.

The challenge is trying to see myself in this passage. As a disciple, what would I have done? Would I have seen the need? Yes it is blatant and obvious, but would I have really seen the need? I mean really?

I am a Christian who desires to serve, to have compassion and serve, but will I notice the needs around me? I mean they are blatant...just as blatant as two blind men, but I don't serve the needs around me. I don't even serve the blatant needs. Should I be asking, "What is it you want me to do for you?" I don't know. I mean there are blatant obvious needs around me, but OBVIOUSLY I don't see them.

Is it that I do not really see them? I do not have my eyes and ears open to actually see those needs around me. I have to be attentive to the needs around me. They are not always so blatant as a blind man asking for sight (lucky Jesus). Sometimes it is nearly a need for respect and compassion...someone to listen...heck...someone to smile. Am I really so clueless to miss an opportunity to smile for someone who may really need it? Probably!

Now if I miss THAT, how many other chances will I miss? I need to be more attentive. After being attentive I have to be willing to be interrupted. What is the point in being attentive to people's needs around me if I'm not willing to STOP!

I have to open my eyes, my ears, my heart to see and notice the obvious needs around me, and then free myself to be interrupted and STOPPED for those needs around me.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4&w=560&h=315]

Let me love you

There are days when it seems God just wants to love me. There are days when I sit with open Bible and heart, and I wait....and wait... There are days when God does not speak to me in His Word, even when I come faithfully to it. There are days when I will sit and stare at the pages, reading a text without affirmation of any message or lesson. There are days when I will sit silently awaiting God and all I will receive is a challenge to my heart to close my Bible and let God love me.

There are days when I am ready and prepared to discover God in his Word and I am challenged to sit and let God love me. Searching the word of God will not prove necessary every single day. There are days when my heart truly needs to be still and rest in God's love; to sit and pray, "Abba, I belong to you. Please love on me today."

Some days bring my heart to a place where God has a different challenge than I realize coming into it. I cannot depend on the word speaking to me every single day I come to it. If someone desired to know me, they can only ready my journals so many times before they would need to step away from them a little while and let me love them, get to know them, talk with me, get a cup of coffee with me and let me relate to them. There are days when I need to step away from the word and sit with God and allow him to love me...to accept his love.

There are days when my mind has soaked up all the love God is pouring on to me, leaving my heart and soul a little dry. There are days when my heart aches to know the love of God and engaging my mind just will not cut it that day.

Some days God desires to lavish his love upon me. If I would only but receive it. It is on those days I have to really test my faith and abide in Abba's love. Because studying is easy when the words are there to understand and dissect, but my heart and soul operate on another faith which simply allows itself to be loved. There are those days when God desires to pour his love out on my heart, and I need to willingly receive that tender love. Today is just one of those days.