The [dis]ease of trust

One friend of mine asked the question, "Why is it so hard to trust God," and I spontaneously responded with... Because its risky! Trusting anything or anyone, especially God, is incredibly risky. In fact, if there is no risk then its not really trusting is it? I mean think about it; if I am not risking anything...if it were really really easy, then there would be absolutely no need to trust. Its hard to trust God because he's risky. You pay the risk that he's not real...since he IS real, you pay the risk of him not hearing you, you pay the risk of him saying "no" to any or all of your deepest questions, you pay the risk of him not feeling close, you pay the risk of his discipline (whatever that looks like), you pay the risk of him not meeting whatever expectations you may have (because he hardly ever does).....

But it is all of these risks that actually make TRUSTING possible...not easy, but utterly POSSIBLE. If you had none of these risks, you would not be able to trust God at all. The very fact that you are still pursuing is, in fact, trusting God. Trust is not feeling at ease...trust is taking the risks.

Why you cannot JUST trust God

Trusting God is a discipline. You have to work at and learn how to trust God. You cannot sit with someone who is going through a difficult time or situation and say, "JUST trust in God."

You cannot JUST trust in God. Trust in God has to be learned and maintained. It is a discipline which needs daily dedication. You have to trust more each day. You have to be intentional about trusting God, because as with trust in anything, it must have a risk involved. You have to risk something, some security, some comfort in order to trust in anything. Trusting God requires some sort of risk you are willing to take. You trust each day by facing those risks and making a choice EACH DAY to say:

"Today I am going to trust God in this situation."

"Today I will pray in the midst of my pain."

"Today i will tell God I am scared and lonely, because that is honest and I know he hears me."

"Today i will believe that God is sovereign; even if I can only half-believe it."

"Today I will trust God."

You cannot JUST trust God. Trust in God is a learned and dedicated discipline.

When trust is not trust

When I discuss TRUST with a group of people, I commonly break down my definition of trust and how it requires a risk and fear. Otherwise it is not really trust. Commonly, the question then comes, "What if you choose to trust and then you are taken advantage of? What then?" The question brings up a decent point, but we can often allow this to really get in the way of our trusting someone. We have, in asking that question, defied our ability to trust. Trust cannot be dependant on its outcome. If your trust (or lack) is based on the proposed outcome, then you have not trusted at all.

Yes, it is possible to risk and trust someone, and it is possible that it will bring hurt in some cases, but IF you make your decision based on a proposed fear or outcome not to 'go', then you have not trusted.

This applies both to our human relationships as well as our relationship with God the Father. If my trust in God is based on whether or not he gives me tangible affirmation, then I have not trusted God at all. If my trust in my Father is whether or not he moves me to FEEL his presence, I do not really trust God.

TRUST BASED ON THE OUTCOME IS NOT REALLY TRUST!

If I am disheartened and frustrated when God does not write on the wall, speak through a bush or audibly speak to my ears, then I have not really trusted in the Father.

If I spend the majority of my life demanding that God prove himself to me and assure me that he exists and works in my life, then I have not yet learned what it really means to trust God...to have faith.

We all want to be trusted. "Just trust me will ya!" God is no different here. He desires to be trusted. What sort of demands have we put on that trust? We have so many ways in which we demand a certain outcome in order for us to trust in God, but that is no trust in God at all. We have to learn how to trust God even when the outcome is uncertain...otherwise, we will not have trusted at all.

On love and trust

We trust someone because we love them. We do not try to trust someone so that we can love them.  It would not be very loving or trusting to do it that way.  Trust has to be risky by its very nature.  There must be some sort of leap involved or there is not real trust.  You do not trust someone because you study that person.  You trust someone BECAUSE you love them.  If you are only studying and looking for proof you are not actually trusting at all. I actually trust God BECAUSE I love him.  If I only trusted of God what was proven, I would not have trusted at all.  I do not trust SO THAT I will love God.  My love for God drives me to trust him.

Sure, I wrestle and fight with that trust all the time.  There are times in my life when that trust is tested, but I remember, then, how much I love my Father.  When I remember how much I love my Father, I can remember if I really loved I would trust Him.

I may cry out to God in hurt, pain, and misunderstanding as long as I ultimately cry out, "Abba, I give you my spirit;" as long as I can say, "Thank you" even if through clenched teeth.

Trust'ish

I wonder how much of my trust in God, the Father  of my soul, is theoretical and verbal.  Has my trust in Abba grown strong enough to get rid of fear? Enough to banish my worry and my doubt?  Do I trust God enough to live absent of discouragement?  Have I trusted Abba enough to live more boldly and more daring? Perhaps I have not trusted Abba enough yet?

Will I ever fully trust the Father of my soul THIS much?

Does anyone have that strong of trust and obedience?

I think we are called to this sort of trust, but I fear I have not quite accomplished it.

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Father of my soul, I trust you.  Help me where I do not trust.

- St. PC of the Trust'ish

How Arrogant Am I

How arrogant am I! Turns out, quite a bit! Colossians 1 tells us that we are all created by God for God.

It reminds me of the joke about the cat and dog.  The dog says, "You feed me. You pet me. You give me shelter; you must be God." The cat says, "You feed me. You pet me. You give me shelter; I must be God." I think there is an entire book written about "Cat and Dog Theology", but here's the deal I am trying to learn at this moment:

How often do I treat God like I was created to be served by Him, or worse yet, that I created Him so that he would serve me?

When I take a moment to reflect on my worship, my prayer life, my faith overall, I am sobered by how arrogant I really am.  I have treated God as though it is His job to be at my beckon call; as though he were created for me and not the other way around.

How much time have I spent asking that God take care of ME, bless ME, heal ME, be with and take care of MY friends and family? Now I realize we are told to ask and it will be given, seek and we will find, but is that all I have done?

Perhaps the answer lies in what happens in my heart when those requests are NOT answered as I request or expect.  Do I get frustrated with God? Do I expect an explanation from God? Honestly, how many times have I asked God "why" as though His work and choices need to be checked; much less checked by ME?

Daniel 4:35 says, "All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing.  He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to Him: 'What have you done?'"

All those times I have wanted to ask God "WHY!" God is not obligated to answer those questions.

How arrogant I have become!

Straight and Broken: part 2

Though the path be straight and narrow, there is no promise that path will not be bumpy or broken. Throughout the Proverbs, there is strong "pathway" imagery to communicate where our hearts should stay and where we should avoid. Often the path we are told to stick to is that which is straight and narrow, because that is the pathway God lays before us. It is the path which leads to Him. It is the path which leads to life.

We are to avoid the wandering path set before us by enemies and various temptations. This is the wandering pathway which leads to nowhere. It is the wandering pathway which also leads our hearts to death.

While the straight and narrow path may be broken and bumpy, it is still straight. We can be assured that continuing straight will lead us to life, hope, and ultimately, Christ.

While the wandering path may be smoothly paved with enticement, comfort, and ease, it is still aimless and leads to death.

We may choose the rocky road that is straight to the top, or we could choose the paved switchbacks that never end but in death.