As for me moments

Psalm 55:2 says "I am restless in my complaint and I must moan." Sometimes our heart needs the release of complaint and moaning before God. Verse 6 says "oh that I had wings like a dove I would fly away and be at rest" (think Forrest Gump's Jenny). There are moments in life we wish we could just fly away from, but those are moments we need honest prayer that gets us to verse 16; something lets call an "as for me" moment.

It is good for us to moan complain and sigh in these times, but we must come around to an as for me moment where we call on God knowing he will hear when we cast our burden upon The Lord He will sustain us.

KNOW

Many times Christians are no different than non-Christians. We try to love an ideal and adhere to principles. We, in so doing, forget that it is possible to actually KNOW God. We are actually able to intimately know God. In fact, that is what truly makes us Christians. Even many non-Christians would admit God exists but never even imagine or believe God is knowable as people are. To non-Christians, God is a principle and ideal that exists and that we can believe, but they have never allowed the possibility of knowing God intimately enter their brain. Am I any different than a non-Christian?

"O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man who TRUSTS in Him." Psalm 34:8

HELP ME: old journal entry

Reading back through old journals can always give phenomenal perspective to where you used to be.  I went back to one of my several journals written in the midst of my deepest questioning periods of faith...and this is one of the posts I found.....

Journal Entry from 10-17-01

How amazingly I've been spoken to in my Bible reading tonight?!  I am amazed by a simple phrase in Psalm 119, verse 86.  Its a phrase I now realize is very common in my prayers, my writing, my written prayers: "HELP ME!"  Two words mean so much and hold so incredibly much.  In an understanding that God truly knows my heart, and in most cases, better than even I do, a simple last cry of "HELP ME" means everything in the world.  Its amazing that out of this entire chapter (the longest chapter in the Bible), this phrase has stuck out and meant the most to me.  At the beginning of that particular stanza, the writer also exclaims, a little more eloquently, "I am weak from waiting for you to save me, but I hope in your word."  That is me right now.  I mean THAT is the very cry from my heart almost to the T.  I have been looking and searching for my heavenly father, and the continuous search has made me very weak.  Ah, but through it all, I am clinging to hope.  I cling to a hope in God's word to be spoken and encouraged upon me eventually.  That verse (81) is immediately followed by a phrase I also sometimes feel is my very cry.  "My eyes are tired from looking for your promise.  When will you comfort me?"  I have felt that so much lately, but I've never been able to verbalize it in my prayers to my half-believed heavenly Father.  But again, the most amazing thing from this reading comes in verse 86 when I do indeed feel all of this but cannot ever verbalize it as I wish I could:  "HELP ME!!"  Sometimes, I only wish I could pray verse 88:

"Give me life by your love..."

But I am so content and encouraged in bolding exclaiming,

"HELP ME!!"

And cling to the hope that he will.