Catch for us the foxes: my address to my daughter's husband

As I have been reading through Bryleigh's Bible, it has brought me to the Song of Songs. I have been very interested to see what this time and entanglement will bring for my heart as I address her in writing regarding a book that Jewish boys were not allowed to read until they became men. Today, I read chapter 2 and came across verse 15. The bride says to her lover, "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards while our vineyards are in blossom."

As The Song can be applied to both our relationship as a bride to our bridegroom, Jesus Christ, it can also be applied to the true love relationship we have with our spouse.

These foxes are any of those things which keep us from Jesus and the life He intends for us. Catch the foxes! Remove the foxes! They must be caught and removed from your relationship with God.

But they ALSO must be caught and removed from your relationship with your spouse. This is an address to husbands! Catch the foxes! Remove the foxes. They must be caught and removed. The good marriage relationship will be one in which you both, but especially the man, DOES the work of catching any foxes which hinder your relationship and your marriage.

I wrote this in the margin of Bryleigh's Bible, and it has stuck with me all day: "If your husband is unwilling to do this sort of work, I doubt his love for you."

So many men are willing to work hard to make money for the family. They are willing to protect their wife from physical harm. I have known countless men who are unwilling to do the work of catching the foxes for their marriage and their family when it comes to the actual relationship. This will require work; uncomfortable work. Your hardest day of work may not compare to the hard work you will do in addressing those things which hinder your relationship and harm your wife to a far deeper place than any physical harm would bring to her. But if you truly love your wife and your family, you must catch the foxes! You must remove the foxes.

If you are unwilling to do this, I question your love for your wife.

Why my 2 year old needs makeup

I was washing dishes, and Bryleigh came into the kitchen saying, "I'm putting on make up, Dadda, to be pretty." I asked, "What?" in that way fathers do when they know exactly what they said.

"I'm still putting on make up. I'm not pretty yet, Dadda."

There are moments as a father, which are weightier than others, and you have to be present enough to catch. This is one of those moments.

I realize my daughter has dug into her mother's makeup bag because it is fun to do what mom does, but her statement struck my heart in a way I would not pass over. This was an opportunity.

"You do not need makeup to be pretty, Bryleigh. You are so pretty."

That was not hard to say nor did it take but a few moments of being present enough to seize. My 2 year old playfully saying, "I'm still putting on make up. I'm not pretty yet, Dadda" was an opportunity to be a Dad before there is an emotional belief behind that statement.

I am not against my daughter putting on make up (later), but I am vehemently against my daughter ever believing she needs makeup to be pretty.

Waiting to be moved

A couple weeks ago my oldest daughter, Bryleigh, turned 2. She had her first of two Peppa Pig parties to celebrate with her absolute favorite television personality. As every child should, Bry was showered with gifts from family. One of which was her first 'bike'; a purple (favorite color) Radio Flyer tricycle with a personalized license plate.

A couple days ago we were giving it a whirl on our front sidewalk. Tonya, my wife, tried to help her learn while holding our infant. It was not working, and at one point Tonya said:

"She doesn't really get it; the whole pushing and peddling! She just sits there waiting to be moved."

Immediately, my mind saw so many church-going believers. How many of us are attempting to use the Church to move us without trying to actually learn how to do this life of faith? Any given Sunday, about noon, I catch myself wondering whether my morning was worth it as I have not been moved. 

This life of faith is an intentional one. It is a life to strive for and apply each day. We will never learn or grow if we only sit waiting to be moved.