Why I crave addiction

"Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied and human eyes are never satisfied." - Proverbs 27:20 This is one reason that addictions are so detrimental. We are created for intimacy with God and that requires an effort on our part. It requires that we at least work on coming closer to his heart. We have to continue to get back to our center, our greatest love, back to the knowledge of God. We have to do this on a regular basis. If we do not continue to get our center, we begin to wander. Before we know it, we "open our eyes" and find ourselves in the "distant country" like the prodigal. Now we need a dramatic and drastic return to the Father, back home. But how much less heartache and pain to stay at my home with my Father than to have wandered slowly into the distant country in need of a drastic return?

When I am a my center; when I am entangled with the heart of God, I am satisfied truly. The only moments I have felt truly satisfied are those when I am centered on God.

This is why addictions are so powerful in our lives. The world offers us addictions because of their nature. They will never satisfy. I will crave addictions for the rest of my life. Addictions feel good, but they do not satisfy. To be 'satisfied' is to say, "I am content with this. This is all I need." Addictions, by their very nature, are never satisfying. That is why they are addictions; they will always vie for my attention. I will always desire them. I will crave them forever and I will never be fulfilled. I will constantly desire the world's offers because they always feel good but never fulfill the needs I have within me.

I need relentless love. That will only be fulfilled at my Center. That will only be fulfilled by my Father God.

If I am to be fulfilled, to be satisfied, to be relentlessly loved, I have to stay home. I have to meet with God and allow him to love me.

Healing begins in the beliefs

What you do comes out of your beliefs about yourself, others and God. This means that everything we do, every action we do has a root in some sort of belief. This means every action; healthy or destructive, has a root in some belief we have of our self, our world, or our God. Our foundation is our belief system because it is from our belief system that we act. How is it that this happens? Well our certain beliefs create certain emotions, and we already know that our emotions drive our behavior.

So we have to examine our beliefs in order to change; to heal. Now by "beliefs" about our self, others, and God I am not talking about proof or stale theology. When I say belief, I mean that we have to dig deeper into our hearts to see what we REALLY believe about our self, our world, and our God. I am not talking about indoctrinated stale answers. I mean we have to answer, 100% honestly, questions like:

Do I believe God loves me tenderly? Do I believe I can know God very personally? Is God a force, a character, a person...? Do I believe I am a child of God? Do I believe I am truly loved by others? Do I believe I am worthy of love? Can other people be trusted? Is it worth the risk to trust new people? If I have been hurt, should I trust any longer; are all people hurtful? Can God really heal me and love me?

The questions go on and on. But if we truly desire healing and change in our lives, we have to look at our belief systems. Change is going to require insight and changing some beliefs we have deep down about our self, others, and God. Out beliefs drive our attitude toward ourselves, others, and God, and that attitude triggers our behaviors and actions.

Healing our Beliefs

The questions go on and on, but if we truly desire healing and change in our lives, we have to look at our belief system. Chance is going to require insight and changing some beliefs we have deep down about ourselves, others, and God. Our beliefs drive our attitude toward ourselves, others and God, and that attitude triggers our behaviors and actions. Someone who believes deep down that their parent is smart, funny, orderly but also believes that parent is a drunk, compulsive, and insulting is going to choose which of those beliefs will drive their own emotions and thus their own behaviors toward that parent.

Someone who believes they are not pretty, loveable, or are worthless will begin to live their lives looking for someone else who will make them feel like those things are untrue...never changing the belief, but only attempting to fix the behavior. They often end up with someone (addict) who will show an attachment to anyone who touches and gives themselves over to solving an addiction...because the original person would say that the addict "makes me feel loved, pretty and of some great worth." When in reality, neither person is being healed. The addict meets his need and the original person acts out without learning to heal the belief system; learning to change their beliefs about themselves without having someone else change their belief system. Only we can change our belief system...and in turn, change our destructive patterns and behaviors.

Someone who believes God is a tyrant who awaits his next opportunity to punish the sinner would naturally act out against the idea of God. He will never be able to accept Christ. Someone who believes God could never love me as I am; "not with the things I have done" will never be able to live the Christian life of joy. He will never be able to truly worship or pray.

Once we begin to change our belief systems, we can begin to heal and step away from the behaviors and problems that have destroyed so much of our lives.

I believe it has to start spiritually so that God may begin to walk us through our healing. Out of what is believed spiritually comes our morals, values, relationships, how I view myself, and others.