When you say "I don't want to gossip, but..."

When you say, "I don't want to gossip, but...." we assume you're about to gossip about someone.

Do not say this. It is like you think this precursor makes 'okay' whatever you are about to tell us about someone. You KNOW you are gossiping, but here it comes anyway. Just.stop.your.self! At some point, your inner-monologue must think, "oh no, words are coming out!!!"

Other variations: "I'm not trying to be a gossip, but..." "I hate to be a gossip, but..." "I told her I would not tell anyone else, but..." "Is it gossip if I tell you that...?" "I think we need to pray for..."

Usually followed by: "Oh, she would probably tell you the same thing." "This is just between you and me."

When you say "I don't want to complain, but...."

When you say "I don't want to complain, but..." we assume you're about to complain.

You love to complain. You love to make sure you are heard on the issue at hand. All of us, on some level, enjoy complaining. The hope is our complaints are on worthwhile things.

Let us no longer give the precursor of not wanting to complain when we cannot wait to complain.