A few years ago, I was working at a recovery ministry to the poor and addicted. My time there came with a certain amount of training, and that training was fantastic. I was trained in several recovery programs and processes, but this training required me to engage myself with the process. This training required me to actually look at myself, self-evaluate and wrestle with the issues which arose. I dealt with wounds I had hidden. I dealt with some addictive behaviors, some coping tendencies, and some past "ish". I was trained in this fashion in order to truly walk along with the residents on their road to healing and recovery as opposed to being simply an instructor.
My reflection on that time today has me realizing something; I have forgotten a lot of those things I had learned. Sure, I could remember some of the technicalities and book answers, but I have nearly forgotten how to engage and participate in the process. I was given some very valuable tools, and I have lost them to atrophied disuse.
It has brought me to a particular question. Why did I receive those tools in the first place? I may have received them simply for the job and not as much for myself in that once the job was gone, I ceased to use the tools. It is as if I was given a toolbox of really nice tools, used them for one project and threw them away as though they were disposable.
Then it had me wondering what other sorts of tools I have lost because I discontinued their use.
The problem arises in the fact I have ceased to use the tools I was given in my life and I remain derelict in certain areas; I remain incomplete and unhealed in certain areas of my life. There are tools I have lost, which need to be discovered and used. There are likely other tools I have thrown away in the garbage can with the marking "apathy" upon it.
How many tools have I thrown away? How many bits of wisdom from mentors, friends, others? How many life-changing books, sermons, talks?
When we fail to use such valuable tools they end up being lost and perhaps thrown away.
How disappointing! Those were some of my favorite tools!
