On Reconciliation

Reconciliation is impossible without looking at myself and saying, "I don't want it to be this way.  What do I need to change about myself to see things heal?"

Reconciliation has to begin with me approaching myself with the willingness to change.  Reconciliation will NEVER happen if I expect the other person to change.  Changing myself starts reconciliation.  Changing the other person (if it were even possible) is control and only spawns more distance and hostility between the two parties.

This does not mean I should be willing to change myself and expect them to change in return.  It means changing myself simply because I don't want it to be this way in MY heart.  I can only change my own heart and HOPE for a willing change in theirs, but not EXPECT a change.

Bold act of humility

Proverbs 25:21-22 demands that we serve our enemy when he is hungry or thirsty, and in so doing, we heap burning coals on his head. It is a reminder that our actions communicate and accomplish much more than our words alone. We can be great at lip service to an apology and attempts to make things right.

When I serve my enemy, I place them in a position where any further attack on me would be crazy, because what kind of person attacks someone who cares for you?

I can also defuse a situation that is only a situation and allows you to see a person. People deserve respect, and when our frustrations are out of the way, we may actually find someone we like a bit. We often dislike in people the characteristics we dislike most about ourselves.

Reconciliation requires a bold act of humility and is not concerned with payback. It is not concerned with selfish demands. It is not concerned with whether the response will be your view of "equal".

Who are you in an argument with right now? What is some way you could enact a bold act of humility and completely disarm the argument and the person to find reconciliation?