My God, over and over again, I am reminded how woefully inadequate my prayer life truly is. I am ashamed of my lack of time and effort in prayer. I cannot imagine any excuse for a lack of prayer, and in return I cannot imagine any reason for me to wonder why ministry, family, leadership and other areas of my life seem to be without power, passion, life, progress, or growth. If I reap what I sow, I cannot be surprised when I sow little. If the condition of the church, family, and organization will take the shape of its leader's character and tone, I just cannot be surprised, nor can I place blame anywhere but my own lack of prayer and fervor for time with you. No matter how great my teaching and preaching can be, it is barren and empty without having received it fresh from you in prayer.
My God, I am woefully short on the very front of prayer where the power of preaching really lies. My God, I have to pursue you and intentionally pray that you may hear my heart for family, for students, and for ministry. My heart does break for them, but that brokenness has very rarely driven me to my knees for them.
O my God, I am brought low this morning at this realization. Thankful for your grace, I do not want to ride its coattails. I want to be with you more and receive from you the tone, character, desire, wisdom, and vision for the people I love.
