The mystery of intimacy

Intimacy with someone has a certain place for holding some things back; not telling the person all about you right away.  I will explain. God has created us in his image, and we all know that is very mysterious.  That has a lot to do with our finite minds trying to conceptualize an infinite God; so of course He will appear mysterious to us.  But think of it this way; God could reveal to us everything about himself if he wanted to (and if we could handle it), but he does not.  For this reason, my relationship with God is always new and exciting. My intimacy with God consists of me attempting to know a mysterious God, and that means moving from discovery to new discovery, from surprise to surprise.  My relationship with God does not grow stale unless I am discontent with the mystery.  My relationship with God is intimate and exciting when I embrace the mystery and look forward to the next new discovery about the heart of God.

If God revealed everything about himself to me in one moment I would have nothing left to desire; I would have no level of intimacy having known everything I needed to know.  My relationship grows stale because the excitement of new discovery is lost.

Now, created in the image of God, our relationships with one another are very much the same. Perhaps we are intended to live with a healthy level of mystery.  Within every relationship we have there should be some varying degree of mystery.  Even within the most intimate relationship two humans can know, marriage, there should always be some level of mystery.

Many people would likely disagree with me, saying that marriage should be the one human relationship where you know everything about the other person. I think that is the very reason so many marriages grow stale so quickly.  As human beings, our great need and desire is to know and be known.  Now many married couples are asked to “get it all out” as soon as possible so that you may know each other and everything about each other, and we call that ‘intimacy’.

Realizing we are all created in the image of God, we have to realize this is certainly NOT in the image of God.  Intimacy is found in a level of mystery.  I cannot explain the thrill I get when my relationship with God reveals some new face of God I have never known before.

I also cannot quite explain how thrilling it is to learn something new about my wife I had never known before.  There is excitement about seeing my wife in a new light.  THAT is embracing the image of God in Tonya, the mystery of my wife.

Embracing the mystery of another person for the sake of intimacy does not mean hiding everything; it simply means a random new and exciting discovery (or revelation) here and there.  Tonya should be learning new things about me for the rest of our lives, and that should excite her. I should be excited to learn new things about my wife.

“I never knew that about you; thank you for showing that part of yourself to me.  I am closer to you now than I was before you showed me.”

Most marriages, friendships, relationships are driven by this “share everything” type of honesty, and that appears to be a great intimacy…for a short time; until you realize there is nothing left to give or show.  You have ruined the mystery.  You have ruined the excitement of discovery.  You have ruined the mystery of intimacy.

Hope and Trust

Where there is TRUST, you are able to HOPE. One who cannot HOPE does not TRUST.

Worry Wart

Where did that word come from?  Why do we call people who worry "worrywarts"?  What a gross image to attach to anyone!  What is it about disgusting warts that, at some point, made someone say to his worrisome friend, "You know what!  You worry too much; you're like a....a...like a WART!" Is it because a worrisome person has a root that goes beneath the surface that needs to be killed to REALLY make the worry go away?

Is it because worrisome people are an eyesore on the fingers of society? (I say "fingers" because that is generally where my warts reside)

Is it because worrisome people continue to avoid the removal of the disgusting part of themselves because of some unknown reason...because why would you actually WANT a wart (or to worry), and yet why don't you take the proper steps to remove the wart (or the worry)?

I'm not entirely sure why worrisome people are called worrywarts, but I have been thinking about worry today.  In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6:25-34) Jesus talks about worry.  I love to remember how absolutely pointless Jesus reminds us that worry actually is. "Has anything good happened BECAUSE you have worried?  What has ever got better because you worried about it?"  It poses the classic response to a good stand-up comedian; "Its funny because its true."

What does all that have to do with warts?  I'm not too sure...

* I decided to spare you the inclusion of a pic for this post

10 Random Facts

A friend of mine, Malisa, recently created a similar post. Since I also love to make random lists, this was a idea to me. 1. I played football for 7 years and trumpet for 9. I hated marching band but loved concert band. I never had to march because I played football. I was a first chair trumpet player and an offensive tackle. I grew to hate playing football year round, so I quit my senior year. Once I realized, "I'll have to march now," I quit trumpet the same time.

2. I cannot start a movie and not finish it in the same sitting. My brain just will not allow it.

3. My first regular job was a bagger and cart wrangler at Meijer in Muncie, IN...BUT my first paying job was as the Easter Bunny in the mall.

4. I am outrageously introverted and mild-mannered and relatively soft-spoken, which is obvious to some and perhaps very surprising to most.

5. I love using dry erase markers on windows for meeting purposes. Who needs a white board when I have these dry erase markers in my bag right now. Oh, and...

6. I don't carry a purse. I carry a book bag. Thank you very much.

7. If I were not in full time ministry, I think I would like to be a window washer.

8. I love making lists. Yes, I sort of include to-do lists, but I am talking more about High Fidelity sorts of lists. My top 5 this or thats! My 5 hypothetical things I would want. I may enjoy doing this too much.

9. I cannot do a cartwheel, but I get urges to do them every once in a while. One of these days, there will be an hilarious show for all those around me...

10. One of my favorite childhood toys was a used word-processor. I loved writing even then. I wrote stories. I wrote letters to magazine editors just to see if it would show up in the "Letters to the Editor" section.

Permission to worship [poem]

You have been granted permission to worshipworship as if God actually hears you as if your thoughts are words to God

Worship as if the sky were a funnel to filter only your words to His ears

Favorite Poet[s]: Commoners and Kings

I love the written and spoken word. I try to soak up as much of it as I can. A while ago I came across Commoners and Kings on a podcast I frequently listen to. I was unable to find a lot on them to share, but recently I revisted their facebook and found a stream of videos they call "Street Series" of different impromptu poets they film performing on the streets of Southern California. This is one of the videos which happens to be one of the Commoners and Kings. Enjoy!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1JC5skwRsw&w=560&h=315]

3 reasons your pastor's sermons stink

Does it seem your pastor has been going downhill in his preaching? Does it seem when he brings the Word, you aren't feelin' it anymore? Is your pastor not preaching up to par for what you expected or as he used to? We all have! I hear you! Here are 3 possible reasons your pastors sermons suck:

1. You have not prayed for him Paul writes in 2 Thessalonians 3:1, "Brothers and sisters, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly." Successful preaching of the word has everything to do with prayer. E.M. Bounds wrote, "Prayer opens the way for the word of God to run without hindrance." How often have those who complain actually prayed for the pastor they complain about?

2. You have not prepared your heart In the Parable of the Sower Jesus questions what sort of soil your heart would be when the seed of the Word is sown. Many more sermons could be fruitful if we would prepare the ground of our hearts ahead of time through prayer and meditation.

3. You have forgotten everything There is a story of Martin Luther preaching the gospel of Jesus each and every week for months and years at a time. His congregation began coming to him saying, "Surely we have this down by now. Week after week you preach the gospel message; why can't we move on?" To which he replied: "Because week after week you forget it.

We resist application of things we study. The good ground in the parable are those who hear the word and make intentional efforts to cultivate the planted seed sown.

Reactionary Bear Love

"bear with one another in love" (Eph. 4:2). 

We are told to bear with one another in love, but what does that look like. That needs to jump off the page, out of cliche and into some sort of action for it to really matter.  What would it take for us to really bear with one another in love?

It requires making the CHOICE to love each other, and continuing to make that choice.  Now this is not as easily done as it is written.  Why? Because we come to make love a REACTION instead of the ACTION that it is.

The reason so many of us struggle to bear with one anyone in love is because we have made love a reaction, and we will only love when loved.  We will only love when given a reason to love. Love has become a reaction to us, and bearing with one another will never happen as long as love is a reaction.  The cycle will only continue and no one will choose to love as we are all waiting for the other to love us so that we can love in return.

Love is not a reaction, it is an action.  Love is a choice.  Love is INTENTIONAL.  In order for us to truly bear with one another in love, it will mean choosing constantly to GO and love.

When one person goes with intentionality of loving someone, they break the cycle of reactionary love.

Love is not a reaction.  It is an action.

Normal people do not test well

In those moments when 'normal people' would give up and fall apart, there is a crazy blessing awaiting those who trust God in crazy moments. Genesis 22 is a crazy example. Abraham obeys and trusts God will provide in a moment nearly every normal parent would have given up with a hearty "Heck No!"

But in verse 1, we see the whole story is a test. God never tempts us, but he frequently tests us. He tested Abraham. He tested Job. He tests you.

God will put you to the test; count on it. BUT realize he puts you to the test not to see if you will make it. An all-knowing God does not need to see if you will make it. God tests you to show YOU that you are capable...

because he already knows.

The only unknown factor in God's tests is to what degree you will trust Him to provide.

Lay in the dust

The story is told of a moment in an old ice house where they would throw down layers and layers of sawdust to keep the ice from melting. There was a day when a worker had lost his grandfather's watch in the course of the day. For hours, the other workers searched the whole building for the watch to no avail. Eventually, they gave up the search writing it off as "lost" forever. 

A small boy went in after everyone left and came out in a matter of moments with the watch in hand. When asked how he found what everyone else had spent hours trying to find, the boy said, "I just went in and laid down on the sawdust and listened for the ticking of the watch."

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Before you conclude that prayer is pointless or unheard or unanswered, take a moment to just be still and listen...

Every day grace

Grace is available to the repentant. Every day grace is available to the every day repentant. Repentance is a daily discipline, not a one time shot. Each day we should ask that God search our hearts and reveal any wickedness, injustice, or lack of integrity within us. When he reveals those things to us, which is inevitably present, we must repent of those things. We cannot then avoid what we know is there.

Psalm 7:12-16 reveals the self-inflicted pain and consequence for the person who refuses to repent. Its like he has dug his own inescapable hole to fall into.

We are to repent, and when God answers with mercy and ridiculous grace, we must give thanks and never take it for granted, even with every day repentance.