Tag Archives: wife

Abusing grace

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grace

The question of just about any presentation of grace is the same Paul rhetorically poses, “So then should I just sin so that grace may increase? Of course not.” So what is the answer to anyone who DOES sin so that their grace may increase? What about those who will say, “I have a reason and excuse to sin. I can sin because PC said God doesn’t care what I’ve done. God will love me.” That picture is again the outstanding picture of grace that is my marriage.

I vowed to love Tonya and cherish her as a gift of God. I would be naïve to say I will always do these things without tripping up. There WILL be times I will not honor Tonya perfectly. There will be times I will not cherish her and hold her in the regard she should be held. There will be times she does not receive love from me as she needs and desires.

Now will she give up on me and divorce me? No! She will go on loving me even though I have hurt her. But that is not the deepest cut. The deepest cut comes from the fact that I will have broken an eternal covenant we set in place through spoken vows. Each time I do not love, honor and cherish her, I break a covenant. She still loves me anyway. I DON’T DESERVE THAT!!!

Now imagine you are good friends with Tonya or some other wife, and she comes continuously to you about her husband. Suppose she tells you how many times he has emotionally wrecked her with absolutely no regard. Suppose she tells you how many times he unabashedly destroys the promises he made to her. Suppose you knew these things. Are you inclined to say, “Well Tonya! That’s great! Now your grace may increase to him?”

I am compelled to realize how much grace Tonya really does show me. How much of an idiot I would be if I paid no mind of her grace and continually abused it! Sure she may always forgive me and love me, but in the end I’d only be abusive.

I see how much she forgives me and loves me despite my broken promises and I desire even more to love and serve her.

Such is God’s grace! Do I just abuse it or does his grace drive me to a realization of my disregard?

The Pain of In To Me See

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intomesee

Intimacy is often defined in Christian church-talk as “Into me see”. Denial of intimacy with the ones you love the most is hiding what is really inside of you. You are not willing for them to see who you really are inside, and you make all sorts of attempts to hide it all…subconsciously or not. This is not only applicable to my marriage, but to God as well. Though he already knows all that is within me, how much am I willing to reveal to him. THAT determines my desire for actual intimacy.

God, into me see!

Another great nugget is “The deeper the love, the greater the hurt.” [click to tweet that] This basically means people you do not know cannot hurt you. How true if you do not know someone, you could care less what they say. But our biggest wounds and hurts are inflicted by the ones we love most.

SOOOOO….

Why does our sin hurt our God so deeply? Because he desires us and is truly in love with us. The intimate God of love is hurt deeply because he really does know us….

Why does the church hurt us so badly?
Why do other Christians hurt us so badly?
Why am I capable of hurting my wife more than anyone else can?

WHY IS GRACE SO BEAUTIFUL….AND TRULY HEALING?

Bullet pointed update

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* Back from Mexico where God did some incredible work in mine and others hearts. Broken chains! Serving the poor and deported! Watching my students present and BE the gospel in a dark, dank basement.
* Still pursuing and learning about restoration in many parts of my life
* Got the flu a few days ago. First time in years!
* Change is imminent and on the rapidly closing horizon.
* Listening to: Ascend the Hill, new Counting Crows album, and Oddisee
* Reading: The Hunger Games, Simple Church, Growing Disciples, and Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl
* Discouraged by: turn out of our taxes, the weight of change not exactly “resting” on your shoulders
* Encouraged by: amazing wife, beautiful daughters, stronger relationships with students, hope for futur
* Right NOW I miss: football, Anderson University, my nieces, and SYTYCD
* Watching a lot of: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Fresh Beat Band, Whitney, and SNL

Don’t Cry for Me [list]

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I married my dream girl
I have a daughter I am smitten by
I have a family who are vocally proud of who I am
I have in-laws I am proud to call family
I have 1.5 college degrees from expensive private universities
I work with college students every day
I have incredible students
I have spoken and/or performed all over the country
I have a day job that is VERY close to my ‘dream job’
I have some of the best friends I could ever wish for
I lost 70+ pounds a few years ago and have not returned to “that weight”
I live within 2hrs of the ocean, the desert, Tahoe, the mountains, SanFran and Fresno
I had a hotdog and a coffee with Brennan Manning
I have stood front row center at a Counting Crows concert
I have seen 6 Counting Crows concerts
I have learned life-lessons from homeless men
I have jumped from a 100ft pole into nothing
I still read and write with these things called pen and paper
I have seen Michael Jordan play basketball twice
I flush my toilet with cleaner water than most of the world ever sees
My friends’ dogs dress and eat better than most of the world’s people
My baristas know me by name (and I know theirs)
I have sat in on a Second City comedy school class
I was once Retweeted by Adam Duritz
I get free books in exchange for writing about them. (win win)
I drive a Scion xB
I am a devout Mac user named PC
I have tested and solidified a faith over time
I have been ambushed by the love of Jesus in a way I’ll never recover from.

No matter how stuck you feel or trapped you feel, you always have reason for a list like this.