Tag Archives: trust

Restoration through wrestling

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Jesus tells each of his disciples to forgive his brothers’ sins against him and others. He tells them “Things that cause people to sin are bound to happen.” After challenging his disciples to forgive and love when they want to accuse and hate, the disciples attempt a subject change from discomfort to comfort. “Increase our faith!” (verse 5) Jesus speaks to them where they went with the subject, but I believe He ties it in with their unwillingness to forgive and love when its hardest. He says, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed…” (verse 6) I believe Jesus was placing the ball back in their court.

Jesus does not let them off easy. He challenges them to realize it is not Jesus who needs to give them more faith to love and forgive. They need to understand that it only takes a little to do so much. Even the smallest amount of faith is plenty to forgive if a person is willing and wants to forgive. There are risks of course! We are called to love in a fallen world. We will forgive and love at the risk and inevitability of seeing more pain. But we MUST love and forgive. We must be willing to give at least a little faith. It goes a long way.

Now remember, these thoughts came through a struggle. (Tying it all together) This came after expressed HONEST struggle with God. I believe God honors our struggle and despises our tepid, lukewarm droning. We are not preschoolers who walk straight lines because we are attached to a rope. God honors the honest struggler. There are too many Christians trying to find life through soothing their soul, but I believe true passion is brought forth in honest struggle. I think our wrestling match with God is pregnant with passion and confidence. The good news is hatred of God and others decreases as Christ takes the heart inch by inch, but it comes only through honest and passionate struggle with God. We may be a new creation, but we are not a perfect creation.

The war over hatred and sin may be won ultimately, but the battle to replace hatred with love will be over only when we see Jesus in flesh. We can and will be angry with God, but have to be honest without reserve. We must understand the Holy Spirit will not allow a bottomless cup of anger to exist, and most often the heart will be engulfed in love when we are honest with God.

Abusing grace

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The question of just about any presentation of grace is the same Paul rhetorically poses, “So then should I just sin so that grace may increase? Of course not.” So what is the answer to anyone who DOES sin so that their grace may increase? What about those who will say, “I have a reason and excuse to sin. I can sin because PC said God doesn’t care what I’ve done. God will love me.” That picture is again the outstanding picture of grace that is my marriage.

I vowed to love Tonya and cherish her as a gift of God. I would be naïve to say I will always do these things without tripping up. There WILL be times I will not honor Tonya perfectly. There will be times I will not cherish her and hold her in the regard she should be held. There will be times she does not receive love from me as she needs and desires.

Now will she give up on me and divorce me? No! She will go on loving me even though I have hurt her. But that is not the deepest cut. The deepest cut comes from the fact that I will have broken an eternal covenant we set in place through spoken vows. Each time I do not love, honor and cherish her, I break a covenant. She still loves me anyway. I DON’T DESERVE THAT!!!

Now imagine you are good friends with Tonya or some other wife, and she comes continuously to you about her husband. Suppose she tells you how many times he has emotionally wrecked her with absolutely no regard. Suppose she tells you how many times he unabashedly destroys the promises he made to her. Suppose you knew these things. Are you inclined to say, “Well Tonya! That’s great! Now your grace may increase to him?”

I am compelled to realize how much grace Tonya really does show me. How much of an idiot I would be if I paid no mind of her grace and continually abused it! Sure she may always forgive me and love me, but in the end I’d only be abusive.

I see how much she forgives me and loves me despite my broken promises and I desire even more to love and serve her.

Such is God’s grace! Do I just abuse it or does his grace drive me to a realization of my disregard?

Broken Faith

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“Behold the man who would not make God his refuge; but trusted in the abundance of his riches and was strong in his evil desire. But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God forever and ever. I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it, and I will wait on Your name, for it is good in the presence of Your godly ones.” – Psalm 52:7-9

If your trust in God’s goodness and faithfulness wanes when times are tough, you have to wonder if your faith was ever in God in the first place. Perhaps it was in the things you have now lost.

Faith in God is not determined by our circumstances. That is faith in our circumstances; not faith in God. {Tweet that} Our circumstances can change in an instant, but God never changes.

Verse 8 begins, “But as for me…”

How would your life complete that sentence?

The Pain of In To Me See

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Intimacy is often defined in Christian church-talk as “Into me see”. Denial of intimacy with the ones you love the most is hiding what is really inside of you. You are not willing for them to see who you really are inside, and you make all sorts of attempts to hide it all…subconsciously or not. This is not only applicable to my marriage, but to God as well. Though he already knows all that is within me, how much am I willing to reveal to him. THAT determines my desire for actual intimacy.

God, into me see!

Another great nugget is “The deeper the love, the greater the hurt.” [click to tweet that] This basically means people you do not know cannot hurt you. How true if you do not know someone, you could care less what they say. But our biggest wounds and hurts are inflicted by the ones we love most.

SOOOOO….

Why does our sin hurt our God so deeply? Because he desires us and is truly in love with us. The intimate God of love is hurt deeply because he really does know us….

Why does the church hurt us so badly?
Why do other Christians hurt us so badly?
Why am I capable of hurting my wife more than anyone else can?

WHY IS GRACE SO BEAUTIFUL….AND TRULY HEALING?

KNOW

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Many times Christians are no different than non-Christians. We try to love an ideal and adhere to principles. We, in so doing, forget that it is possible to actually KNOW God. We are actually able to intimately know God. In fact, that is what truly makes us Christians. Even many non-Christians would admit God exists but never even imagine or believe God is knowable as people are. To non-Christians, God is a principle and ideal that exists and that we can believe, but they have never allowed the possibility of knowing God intimately enter their brain.

Am I any different than a non-Christian?

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man who TRUSTS in Him.”
Psalm 34:8

Risk, Trust, and one of my all-time favorite movies

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eternal-sunshine-of-the-spotless-mind

One of my top 5 favorite movies is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There are elements of realizing the memories we wish we could eliminate, and how important even those memories are. It shows the parts of our hearts we often overlook as either expected or painful and thus necessary to cover up or forget. The movie really is wonderful, full of great quotes and scenes; like the very first spoken line, “Valentines Day is a day created by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.” But the very last scene is my favorite. The scene goes like this:

Joel: I can’t see anything that I don’t like about you.
Clementine: But you will
Joel: Right now I can’t
Clementine: But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that’s what happens with me.
[Joel shrugs]
Joel: Okay
[Clementine nods…Joel smiles]
Clementine: Okay
[Clementine cries, but laughs]
Clementine: okay
Joel: Okay
[They both laugh]

I love this scene and what it has to offer to us. It is a great reminder for those of us who are in relationships. We spend so much of our lives trying to run away from people because we are afraid of not liking something about them. We are afraid of getting bored with something they do. We get afraid that they will run away from us. We’re afraid that something will come up that we don’t like, and “then it will be too late.” I love Joel’s response, “Okay.” It signifies the realization that Clementine will probably find something boring about him. He probably will find something he doesn’t like about her later. But okay! If we thought we could wait until a relationship that would be absolutely perfect, without arguments, annoyances, pain, temptations, we will be waiting forever. By saying, “Okay,” Joel opens himself to trust Clementine. Real trust! A trust that says, “Okay! Fine! You will likely do something I don’t like, but I love you and I trust you. Let’s do this.” As if to say, “That’s a risk we gotta take.” Its not even that it was a risk. It was simply an expectation we have to be willing to take. We have to be willing to understand that things like that will happen. We will find something we don’t like, but are we willing to love them and trust that they love us anyway? Okay.

I must be climbing

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There is a flaw for me in the whole “mountain and valley” analogy we so often use for our spiritual journey. We commonly make the mountain top that spot we desire and aspire to, and the valley those times when it’s the most painful and difficult to take on. Then we make the climb the journey in between.

Now let’s think of the literal in hopes of understanding the symbolic a little more. In reality, I have never been in a valley I did not enjoy. Often valleys are complete with rolling grassy hills and a cool breeze. It is not all that unpleasant.

I do love mountain tops. When you are the mountain top there is a powerful sense of accomplishment. The mountain top is refreshing and holds a beauty which is often spectacular.

So there is only one other element left to be grueling, painful, and difficult. The climb up the mountain is the painful part. I love climbing and hiking, but it is usually a grueling task to climb the face of a mountain. Your heart beats to the thinning air and physical exhaustion. You come around every bend and corner wondering if THIS one will be the last. But a hiker, climber and backpacker will continue to trek because they know one thing; they are climbing to get to the top. It is painful but it is worth it knowing your endurance gets you to the top. Your endurance comes with pain, but it all gets you to the top where the beauty, refreshment, and accomplishment await.

Chapter 1 of James starting with verse two reads, “My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.”

The truth is we all face trials and will continue to face more. Something I am learning to do in my prayer time lately is to actively praise God for my trials of all kinds. It has really stretched my faith to watch trials come my way and to not only take them to God (which is a common Christian reaction) but to praise God for those trials.

1 Peter 1:6-7 reads, “In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Christ is revealed.”

This kind of reaction stretches our faith to points many of us have never been before. I am talking about actually praising God…thanking him FOR our painful trials.

Why is this so difficult for us to do? Because we have the mountain and valley analogy all messed up. We have convinced ourselves that the pain is the valley, and like literal valleys we are comfortable there. So we just stay there. We have seen our trials in the wrong light.

We have to remember the valley is not the worst part of the journey. The climb is the worst part of the journey. If I can keep myself from experiencing pain and saying, “I must be stuck in the valley,” and instead turn those moments into praise by saying, “This hurts! I must be on my way up. I must be climbing.” If we can turn our responses to that, we can find it easier to praise and thank God for the pain and trials. Because we climbing!

When you fall

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“When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.” Psalm 37:24

I love the reminder today of WHEN we fall, because we certainly will and do. For those who follow Christ, we are promised we will fall, but we will not fall too far as God holds our hand.

My two year old has been walking for a little while, but from time to time she attempts running. She can only go so far at a certain speed before she falls. I will hold her hand often while she walks and runs. She does fall, and WHEN she does, it is never too far. I have a hold of her hand.

In verse 39, the Psalmist writes, “[God] is their strength in time of trouble.”

In your life, there WILL be trouble. God does not take trouble away. He is strength IN times of trouble. He will be the hand to hold you in times of trouble. He will not let you fall too far, but fall you will. Find strength only God can be and give to you in those times.

Waiting to be moved

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A couple weeks ago my oldest daughter, Bryleigh, turned 2. She had her first of two Peppa Pig parties to celebrate with her absolute favorite television personality. As every child should, Bry was showered with gifts from family. One of which was her first ‘bike’; a purple (favorite color) Radio Flyer tricycle with a personalized license plate.

A couple days ago we were giving it a whirl on our front sidewalk. Tonya, my wife, tried to help her learn while holding our infant. It was not working, and at one point Tonya said:

“She doesn’t really get it; the whole pushing and peddling! She just sits there waiting to be moved.”

Immediately, my mind saw so many church-going believers. How many of us are attempting to use the Church to move us without trying to actually learn how to do this life of faith? Any given Sunday, about noon, I catch myself wondering whether my morning was worth it as I have not been moved. 

This life of faith is an intentional one. It is a life to strive for and apply each day. We will never learn or grow if we only sit waiting to be moved.

Meat out your nostrils

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“but a whole month [you will eat meat] until it comes out your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you; because you have rejected the LORD who is among you.” (Numbers 11:20)

These people were complaining that what God had provided for them was not enough. They complained so much they became a burden to their leader and drove him to complain to God about how much of a burden their complaining had become. They all asked for meat because the manna was not enough.

So God, tired and angry at all the complaining, gives them the meat they asked for. He gives them so much meat it is going to come out of their nose. Getting more than we actually need will hurt our bodies. God is giving them what they asked for, but so much that it is going to hurt.

This is a punishment for rejecting Him as all they really needed.

Be careful what your heart and mind greedily wants. When is enough not enough for you? When is God and his love and his provisions not enough for you?

Our greed reveals how little we trust God, and I fear I trust God far too little.