Healing begins in the beliefs

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What you do comes out of your beliefs about yourself, others and God. This means that everything we do, every action we do has a root in some sort of belief. This means every action; healthy or destructive, has a root in some belief we have of our self, our world, or our God.

Our foundation is our belief system because it is from our belief system that we act. How is it that this happens? Well our certain beliefs create certain emotions, and we already know that our emotions drive our behavior.

So we have to examine our beliefs in order to change; to heal. Now by “beliefs” about our self, others, and God I am not talking about proof or stale theology. When I say belief, I mean that we have to dig deeper into our hearts to see what we REALLY believe about our self, our world, and our God. I am not talking about indoctrinated stale answers. I mean we have to answer, 100% honestly, questions like:

Do I believe God loves me tenderly?
Do I believe I can know God very personally?
Is God a force, a character, a person…?
Do I believe I am a child of God?
Do I believe I am truly loved by others?
Do I believe I am worthy of love?
Can other people be trusted?
Is it worth the risk to trust new people?
If I have been hurt, should I trust any longer; are all people hurtful?
Can God really heal me and love me?

The questions go on and on. But if we truly desire healing and change in our lives, we have to look at our belief systems. Change is going to require insight and changing some beliefs we have deep down about our self, others, and God. Out beliefs drive our attitude toward ourselves, others, and God, and that attitude triggers our behaviors and actions.

Healing our Beliefs

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The questions go on and on, but if we truly desire healing and change in our lives, we have to look at our belief system. Chance is going to require insight and changing some beliefs we have deep down about ourselves, others, and God. Our beliefs drive our attitude toward ourselves, others and God, and that attitude triggers our behaviors and actions.

Someone who believes deep down that their parent is smart, funny, orderly but also believes that parent is a drunk, compulsive, and insulting is going to choose which of those beliefs will drive their own emotions and thus their own behaviors toward that parent.

Someone who believes they are not pretty, loveable, or are worthless will begin to live their lives looking for someone else who will make them feel like those things are untrue…never changing the belief, but only attempting to fix the behavior. They often end up with someone (addict) who will show an attachment to anyone who touches and gives themselves over to solving an addiction…because the original person would say that the addict “makes me feel loved, pretty and of some great worth.” When in reality, neither person is being healed. The addict meets his need and the original person acts out without learning to heal the belief system; learning to change their beliefs about themselves without having someone else change their belief system. Only we can change our belief system…and in turn, change our destructive patterns and behaviors.

Someone who believes God is a tyrant who awaits his next opportunity to punish the sinner would naturally act out against the idea of God. He will never be able to accept Christ. Someone who believes God could never love me as I am; “not with the things I have done” will never be able to live the Christian life of joy. He will never be able to truly worship or pray.

Once we begin to change our belief systems, we can begin to heal and step away from the behaviors and problems that have destroyed so much of our lives.

I believe it has to start spiritually so that God may begin to walk us through our healing. Out of what is believed spiritually comes our morals, values, relationships, how I view myself, and others.

My Hiding Place [a prayer]

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Good afternoon Father,

You are my refuge and my strength. You are my hiding place in the midst of the storms that my life may bring. I look at your comfort and realize that you may never say a word to my soul, but I can know and trust that you are present in my pain and that is all I can ask for. I am more comforted by the one who just sits with me and weeps with me. I am more comforted by the one who tries his hardest to ache with me instead of telling me they know what I am going through. I am more comforted by the one who sits silently by my side while I ache instead of trying to fix everything.

You have been my comfort in this suffering world. You have been present with me while I ached, and though you may not have been speaking to my heart, I know that you entered into my pain and hurt with me. I know that you ache when I ache because no Father wants to see his child hurt. No Father wants to have his child know pain, but pain is a part of this life whether we like it or not. Pain is inevitable, and though a father would love to just take pain away, this suffering world makes that impossible right now.

So the best a Father can do is be there when the child aches and hurts. You have been there when I ached. You may not always speak to my heart, but I know you are present in my pain. I know you ache when I ache, and THAT is how you are my hiding place…my refuge…my strength; a very present help in trouble. Because though the trouble still remains, you are my hiding place.

- St. PC of the Comforted

How Faith-based is Your Organization?

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What a strange descriptor for organizations! How can I really call my organization ‘faith-based’? What would really qualify it as such?

Does my organization…
- have assurance of things it hopes for
- have a conviction for things we cannot actually see
- have a relentless trust in God that goes beyond our projected goals and budget
- trust more in God’s providing than its own talents, gifts, and leadership
- say “God’s grace and gospel are sufficient for me” before saying “insufficient funds”
- trust the Holy Spirit is accomplishing great things with or without us
- take risks that can only be described as faithful
- step out on nothing to land on something
- come to the end of things with an awe that it actually happened the way it did
- give more credit to God than the team

How “faith-based” is your organization?

2 Lies We Believe About Ourselves

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There are two lies we come to believe in our belief system, and because we believe them, we react in ways that are destructive to us.

1 The Lies People Tell Us
The first kind of lies we believe are those that are projected onto us by others; most often by those who are authority figures and those closest to us. There is no defense against these lies when you are younger. Those sorts of lies are the ones which cut right to the heart and become the ‘truths’ we allow to run our lives. If you were told you were bad, you believed you were bad. If you were told you were ugly, you believed you were ugly. If you were told you were dumb, you believed you were dumb. If you were told you were too dramatic, you believed you were too dramatic. Get the point??

The result can be an inability to tell the difference between what you did and WHO YOU ARE!

2. The Lies We Tell Ourselves
The other sort of lies we believe are those we tell ourselves in order to survive. These are crafted by ourselves in circumstances when we were abused or neglected. These are moments when our true needs are not met. We grow less and less vulnerable because of this. We did not want to get hurt any longer; so we became less vulnerable in order to avoid getting hurt. We start to believe things (lies) like, “I don’t need anybody,” “Nobody really cares what I think or feel anyway.”

We begin to believe things like this and grow more and more numb; less and less vulnerable. The problem with this is that refusing to be vulnerable may actually be less painful for the moment BUT it undermines our ability to have good and healthy relationships in the future.

We have to begin the process of disproving the lies (projected and survival) we have come to believe as truth, because those beliefs are tearing us down.

The Guilt Idol

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Bonhoeffer said, “Guilt is an idol.” I have been thinking today about the role of guilt in our faith…or at least the role we have given guilt in our faith. I find myself essentially worshipping and lifting up guilt in my life quite a bit. Bonhoeffer has a fantastic grasp on the role we often give to guilt and shame.

Self-rejection and hatred are far too present in the Christian faith. It was never intended to be this way. We too often take our own self-hatred and project it onto God, and that does not match up. We too often assume that God feels the same way about us that we fee about ourselves. This is impossible, of course, unless we are able to love ourselves with relentlessly tender and accepting love.

We have to destroy the idol of guilt and begin to accept ourselves as we really are. We are all wounded people, and need to learn to accept that. We, instead, either lacerate ourselves with guilt and shame, or we hide our wounds with pretty faces and admirable manufactured presentations of ourselves. We hide behind those masks and never allow ourselves to be known as we are. Sadly, I often hide for so long behind some masks that I believe they are real; I forget my real self.

Guilt remains an idol because my unwillingness to reveal myself as I am, wounds and all, is an unwillingness to accept myself. That unwillingness to accept myself is my unwillingness to accept that God truly is a loving God. I may accept it in my head while there remains a great chasm between my head and my heart.

How willing am I to be wounded; to accept that I am wounded? Without being immobilized by guilt?

How long will I worship the idol of guilt?

You’re Welcome: Eliot Rausch

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Every once in a while you come across a website that just steals your attention right from under you. You may not even know why, but you find yourself just mindlessly clicking through because you just have to see one…more…post.

These will be things I find to share with you; things before you thank me for showing, I’ll just say, “You’re welcome!”

——-

A friend of mine shared a short film with me entitled O Night Divine! I followed the link and immediately found myself in the world of Eliot Rausch. This director and editor has several stunning projects he has posted for people to enjoy online. I have attached a spotlight shown on Late Night with Carson Daily. Within the spotlight there is reference to one of his short films entitled Last Minutes with Oden. This thing will rip your heart out in a redemptive way.

I could not stop watching Eliot’s films on his website. Take some time to watch as much as you can. My recommendations, in order, are: Last Minutes with Oden, Eds Story, O Night Divine

Eliot Rausch on “Last Call” with Carson Daly from Eliot Rausch + Phos Pictures on Vimeo.