I wonder how much more the Gospel would be heard and received if we presented it much more like Paul does in Timothy. What if our communication of the gospel began with and continued with the strong understanding that I am the worst of sinners instead of YOU are the worst of sinners.

We are so quick to assume certain sins are worse than our very own. We are quick to label others’ sins as ‘abominations’ while overlooking the long list of abominations listed in scripture, on which I find myself plenty of times.

Perhaps of all Paul’s communication of the Gospel, these two verses are the most clear and possibly most received.

As you may have noticed, I did not enact any experiments this week.

Stuff came up…??

Well next week, I have discovered what my social experiment is going to be. Next week will be:

“Had to Meet You Week”

I frequent the same coffee shop several times throughout the week, and I have come to know most of the staff by first name. It has taken some time and a lot of notes on my iphone so I don’t forget the names.

Now I realize I there are several other regulars whom I see on a regular basis. The goal of “Had to Meet You Week” is to introduce myself to one of those regulars each day.

I once wrote an article about this idea and never did anything about it. So next week is the time.

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What place do you frequent? Would you join me on this challenge?

I can still remember the first time I saw a Nooma video by Rob Bell. It was in a church service, and the video was “Trees”. I cannot even tell you what the video was about because all I could think was something along the lines of, “Ahhhhh crap! I could have done that!” All I could think of for the entirety of the video was that it really is a great idea, and it is TOTALLY something I could have done.

I really liked seeing Bradley Hathaway do what he does as a traveling poet. I would mention him to my brother a few winters ago and my brother acted unimpressed and nearly cynical at Bradley Hathaway’s art. I listened to my brother rant for a short time before I said, “Wait! Do you not like Bradley Hathaway because he’s doing something you could have done, but he thought of it before you?”

He thought for a second and humbly surrendered, “Yeah….I think that may be it.”

Unless a speaker or writer really really impresses me or makes me think differently than I had before I heard them, I am generally dismissive of them as a speaker and author. Two things I have not pursued or gone after! But something in me is dismissive and unimpressed.

This thing within is jealousy. Jealousy is basically a part of you that is convinced there can only be one of something, and you are not that one.

The problem lies in that most things can have more than one of them. It is possible for there to be more than one artist within whatever artistry you pursue. But that part of you that gets FRUSTRATED when someone else accomplishes something you know you can do is jealousy.

Jealousy is the belief that there is only room for one.

As I reflected on that today, I get frustrated with the jealousy within me because it has debilitated me from moving toward the things I know I can do.

———

Who are you most jealous of recently?

Today I awoke on my 30th birthday to a bottle of Red Chimay (my second favorite beer) and a new Flip Mino Camcorder. *my wife loves me more than you do*

So here’s the deal! I am certain I would like to use the Flip on a regular basis here at Ragamuffin Ramblings.

What are your ideas for how you’d like me to use the camcorder here? Be creative! (or maybe thats MY job)

You do not want to like Brian Tome. You do not want to like Free Book either.

You begin the book wanting to dislike his passionately gruff start. He is certainly passionate, but will this be another frustration with YOU, the reader for not being as passionate as the author? Well he is right; your life is unnecessarily safe.

You want to dislike his tactless attack on the things that destroy freedom for you. Like your slavery to different masters and a lack of authenticity! (How dare he call YOU unauthentic?)

You do not want to like being told forgiveness of ‘that person’ is the only way to live a life of freedom. Yet, you begin to understand how important it actually is.

You do not want to like his use of terms like ‘strongholds’ and ‘bondage’ because you are reminded of early 90’s praise songs, but for some reason it all makes absolute sense.

You do not want to like Tome’s seemingly oversimplification of things like those moments your faith is ‘blah’ or ‘balanced’. His insights into what scripture has to say about those times are not the ones you want to agree with, but you have to. The solutions really are more simple than we make them out to be.

You do not want to agree with the different areas revealed in your life where we may have to give some things up in order to experience the life of freedom. You certainly do not want to be told that freedom awaits you in connecting with messy people in Christian community.

You do not want to like Brain Tome or Free Book but you cannot deny the insight into a life of freedom. Once you see the life of freedom and how to present that life to others with grace and truth, you start to like this book a little bit more.

The book was a slower read than I typically like to have. It bogged me down a bit as a reader, and it was not an easy book to read. As a book review blogger for booksneeze.com and Thomas Nelson, I was required to read my free advanced copy from beginning to end, and it was a difficult requirement to meet.

For a moment in our conversation this afternoon, I actually looked into his eyes. I felt caught. The moment was so drastic, I felt a sense that I had violated or been violated. I actually felt the vulnerability I have already reflected on with assumption before. There appeared to be a connection on some mystic level. There was a sense of a connection at the soul where you rarely see or recognize in a person. 

There are few words to explain what it feels like to not only look but to actually see beyond a face into a person. Two people, barely more than acquaintances, were connected in an instant at a level difficult to explain.

I wanted to know more. I wanted to see more. I wanted to hear more from him, but not just hear the words he was saying. I had seen…him. I wanted to hear more from…him. I wanted to hear more from that place I had seen into.  You see more and hear more than you could imagine when you look into a person through the eyes.

All of this in a second of true eye contact! A SECOND!

It came and went in a matter of one second. A rush of insight came at me like drinking from a pitcher with a loose lid. For the last week, I have not reflected on much as there has not been much to reflect on.  Was this experiment really worth so much attention? Had it run its short-lived, non-blogworthy course? Wonder had begun to set in with a tinge of disenchantment.

Then came lunch at a hole in the wall Chinese restaurant! A moment of true intentional eye contact revealed to me that the experiment was not over, but what is more, it may have just extended itself beyond a week.

What had I expected? I expected to just start having eye contact. At the turn of day one, I had expected to just begin with my very first encounter and begin studying the responses I would get from the surprise at my sudden attention. There would be curious comments from friends who had been taken aback by my intentional attention to them. There would be peculiar spiritual connections with passers-by in the supermarket and coffee shop.

I had not expected to be half way through my second day thinking, “Oh wait! I’m supposed to be having eye contact.” There was not supposed to be moments I catch myself in the middle of a conversation staring at my grocery cart with tonight’s lasagna ingredients while the potential connection comes and quickly leaves with the woman interested in what I was going to put in my lasagna, and whether or not it would have spinach and would I steam the spinach before I put it in oven. It would not be until she had reached the opposite end of the isle before I realized another missed opportunity to develop and maintain caring eye contact with someone.

The barista at Tupelo coffee shop was not supposed to just fulfill my order without any sense that I cared whether he really existed.  The expectation was he would feel strangely connected to me though admittedly eerie by my intense focus on that place just beyond his eyes.

Intentionality may have been my largest oversight. I had not counted on the demand it would have in this experiment. Eye contact with everyone you encounter in a normal day requires a great deal of intentionality.  It has proven more difficult than I had expected it to be to simply begin making and maintaining what seems to be such a simple action.

We are so accustomed to avoiding such a simple action because there is a depth behind it we fear. There is a vulnerability that lies just behind our eyes, and we protect it with this avoidance. It is more than awkward to have eye contact with someone.  Comedian Brian Regan tells of a visit to the eye doctor. Nearly nose-to-nose in a dark room, his comedic question to the eye doctor is “Are you looking into my soul?”

The truth behind that punch line is incredibly telling of the weight of eye contact with someone. We have pawned eye contact off as awkward, but the vulnerability is a reality we fear most. We can often crave what we fear most.

We crave something we commonly avoid. Making and maintaining eye contact with everyone I encounter is going to require a much higher level of intentional effort than I had ever suspected.

For now, I’m going to hide behind my screen for a little longer before heading home.