Category Archives: Culture

You and your selfish mountaintop experience

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“Spiritual selfishness always wants repeated moments on the mount.” – Ozzie Chambers

Many of us are dependant on the mountain top experiences, and we get frustrated and disappointed when we go back down. We go to a camp or a retreat to get pumped up, and we want to stay there because everything is so good there. Our walk with God seems so amazing and we want to stay there. But as Ozzie points out, its such a selfish way to use the mountain. The mountaintop is intended for inspiration for the descent back into the valley. Life is intended to be lived in the valley; not on the mountaintop.

There are many people in the valley who need inspiration and rescue from the brokenness, but they will never be reached if we remain on the mountaintop.

Does that mean we should not have mountaintop experiences? Are we selfish because we are on the mountaintop? No! We are only selfish when our desire is to stay on the mountain.

The mountain experiences are necessary. We need those times for inspiration and rejuvenation, but we cannot be so dependant upon them that we want to stay there. We should be excited and ready to descend the mountain back down into the valley where life is intended to be lived. We have to take with us renewal and inspiration back down the mountain into our daily lives with our daily interactions with different people. Otherwise we are some of the most selfish people around.

We are told to go out into the world and spread the gospel unto all nations. When we go to the mountain, we experience the gospel once again. We take it in once again; allowing ourselves to be saturated in the relentless love of God. We grow closer to the heart of God with very minimal interruption, but we cannot stay there. We cannot live in this moment. We are not intended or called to live that way.

The mountain is intended to be inspirational, but we are intended to bring that inspiration and live in the valley.

Through the looking-glass [self]

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There is a social psychological concept called the looking-glass self that essentially breaks down to theorizing we become more and more what the most important person in our life thinks we are.

You have seen the popular memes online reflecting what different people think we actually do for a living!

In life, there are many people who have different perceptions of who we really are. Exes are going to have a different perception of you than your momma. Co-workers are going to have different perceptions of you than your spouse.

The looking-glass self theorizes that we will often so strongly believe that we actually become the person the most important person in our life perceives us to be.

This brings up a couple vital questions:

1. Who IS the most important person my life? (and why is it not God?)
Before you answer, realize we give certain people importance in our lives. Moreover, the most important person in our lives is not always the most ‘positive-impact’ person in our life. For many people the most important person in their life might be the abusive parent, and that impacts how that person really perceives himself. We may give too much importance to the person we are dating who perceives you as the one make him feel better, and she begins to believe she is only exactly that.

If you are a believer, this first question necessarily proposes a second question. Why is God not the most important person in your life?

Of course we say He is, but theory is different than practice. Can you honestly say (not on this page, but in your heart of hearts) that your relationship with Jesus is THE most important relationship you have and maintain? Can you say that God’s perception of you is who you really are, or are you really becoming who some other person perceives you to be; someone to whom you have GIVEN more importance than God?

2. Who does God perceive me to be? 
If God is the most important person in our life and our relationship with Jesus IS the most important relationship we have, then the second question to answer is “WHO does God perceive me to be?”

Let me give you a couple verses to think of this.

1 John 3:1 is my favorite verse in all of scripture. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are.” Do you believe and KNOW YOURSELF as a child of the perfect Father who loves perfectly?

In John 13:23, the disciple calles himself “the one Jesus loves.” What would change in your life if you actually believed enough to BECOME ‘the one Jesus loves’? What needs to change for you to peer through the looking-glass and see what God sees?

When I am not weak enough

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1 Corinthians 9, verse 22 says:

“To the weak I become weak, so that I might win the weak.”

One reason I struggle so much to reach out to the hurting, broken, and weak around me is because I have not rightfully understood this passage. In attempts to reach out to the poor and weak, I commonly end up taking the stance: “Let me be strong for you. Let me reach out to you and be strong in your weakness. Let me be put-together where you are broken.” This is how I have thought it should be for so long.

The problem with that approach, of course, is putting myself in God’s role. God’s role is to be strong in my weakness and put-together in my brokenness.

My job is to be weak to the weak and broken to the broken. This is how I am to reach the weak and broken.

It is not my job to be God. It is my job to be weak to the weak and broken to the broken and allow God to be strong where we are weak and put-together where we are broken.

Why I crave addiction

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“Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied and human eyes are never satisfied.” – Proverbs 27:20

This is one reason that addictions are so detrimental. We are created for intimacy with God and that requires an effort on our part. It requires that we at least work on coming closer to his heart. We have to continue to get back to our center, our greatest love, back to the knowledge of God. We have to do this on a regular basis. If we do not continue to get our center, we begin to wander. Before we know it, we “open our eyes” and find ourselves in the “distant country” like the prodigal. Now we need a dramatic and drastic return to the Father, back home. But how much less heartache and pain to stay at my home with my Father than to have wandered slowly into the distant country in need of a drastic return?

When I am a my center; when I am entangled with the heart of God, I am satisfied truly. The only moments I have felt truly satisfied are those when I am centered on God.

This is why addictions are so powerful in our lives. The world offers us addictions because of their nature. They will never satisfy. I will crave addictions for the rest of my life. Addictions feel good, but they do not satisfy. To be ‘satisfied’ is to say, “I am content with this. This is all I need.” Addictions, by their very nature, are never satisfying. That is why they are addictions; they will always vie for my attention. I will always desire them. I will crave them forever and I will never be fulfilled. I will constantly desire the world’s offers because they always feel good but never fulfill the needs I have within me.

I need relentless love. That will only be fulfilled at my Center. That will only be fulfilled by my Father God.

If I am to be fulfilled, to be satisfied, to be relentlessly loved, I have to stay home. I have to meet with God and allow him to love me.

How many kids do I gotta have

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Before I had kids, one thing they frequently said to me:

“You have NO idea! Wait until you have kids.”

Once we had a child, they told me:

“You have NO idea. It is a whole different story when you have two.”

We had a second child, and I thought I had finally arrived at this mark of maturity and adulthood that seems to keep eluding me. Then I get the congratulatory email:

“It’s when you have three that it gets real interesting.”

How many kids do I need to have?

Welcome Haddisen Peace Walker

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Life has changed dramatically again! We went from being Tonya, PC, and Bryleigh to being “The Walkers”. Instead of being attended by Bryleigh, I entered into the stage of life of being flanked by “the girls”. On Friday, February 24, 2012 we welcomed into the world and our life, Haddisen Peace Walker.

I believe that you speak life into your children’s name. You speak meaning into their name and life.

“Addison” means ‘son of Adam’ or earth. We added the H because we love the nickname “Haddie” but do not like the names traditionally paired with it (Harriet or Henrietta). We also love that Haddisen is a unique name we have not seen elsewhere.

As a whole, Haddisen Peace is very redemptive as a name. The meaning of Haddisen draws you back to God’s original and peaceful plan for His world and His people. There was perfection and true ‘shalom’, but of course, with generations of choice, humanity has terribly broken the orignal state God put in place.

Followers of Jesus and believers look to scripture without getting stuck in the cynicism and skepticism typical of our world’s outlook. They actually believe and take God at His Word that he is making all things new (Rev. 21:5). They believe God will restore and repair what is broken. Not only WILL but IS! They believe peace (shalom) is possible.

My hope for Haddisen Peace is that she will live her life with a restoration lens through which she sees herself, God, and God’s world. I hope she learns to see life not as it is, but as it ought to be.

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When bad Christians happen to good people

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“To me a Christian is either a man who lives in Christ or a phony. You Christians do not appreciate that it is on this–the almost eternal testimony that you give of God–that we judge you. You ought to radiate Christ. Your faith ought to flow out to us like a river of life. You ought to infect us with a LOVE for him. It is then that God who was impossible becomes possible for the atheist and for those of us whose faith is wavering. We cannot help being struck, upset, and confused by a Christian who is truly Christlike. And we do not forgive him when he fails to be.” - an atheist woman from Paris

“Many who had already come close on the way to believing are frightened away by the bad lives of evil and false Christians. How many, my brothers, do you think there are who want to become Christians but are put off by the evil ways of Christians?” - St. Augustine

“It is symptomatic that, despite the church having been around for two thousand years, the mass of people still pass Christianity by. Why? Because the visible presence of Jesus Christ is rarely present in Christians as a whole.” - Brennan Manning

“Why blame the dark for being dark? It is far more helpful to ask why the light isn’t as bright as it could be.” - Rob Bell

When trust is not trust

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When I discuss TRUST with a group of people, I commonly break down my definition of trust and how it requires a risk and fear. Otherwise it is not really trust. Commonly, the question then comes, “What if you choose to trust and then you are taken advantage of? What then?”

The question brings up a decent point, but we can often allow this to really get in the way of our trusting someone. We have, in asking that question, defied our ability to trust. Trust cannot be dependant on its outcome. If your trust (or lack) is based on the proposed outcome, then you have not trusted at all.

Yes, it is possible to risk and trust someone, and it is possible that it will bring hurt in some cases, but IF you make your decision based on a proposed fear or outcome not to ‘go’, then you have not trusted.

This applies both to our human relationships as well as our relationship with God the Father. If my trust in God is based on whether or not he gives me tangible affirmation, then I have not trusted God at all. If my trust in my Father is whether or not he moves me to FEEL his presence, I do not really trust God.

TRUST BASED ON THE OUTCOME IS NOT REALLY TRUST!

If I am disheartened and frustrated when God does not write on the wall, speak through a bush or audibly speak to my ears, then I have not really trusted in the Father.

If I spend the majority of my life demanding that God prove himself to me and assure me that he exists and works in my life, then I have not yet learned what it really means to trust God…to have faith.

We all want to be trusted. “Just trust me will ya!” God is no different here. He desires to be trusted. What sort of demands have we put on that trust? We have so many ways in which we demand a certain outcome in order for us to trust in God, but that is no trust in God at all. We have to learn how to trust God even when the outcome is uncertain…otherwise, we will not have trusted at all.

How to hope

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If I am going to continue a life of healing in Christ, I will need HOPE. Hope is often highly misunderstood. Since hope is fundamental to our healing, it would serve us well to know what it means.

First of all, hope is not a concept. There is substance and definition to hope. Essentially, HOPE is projecting the positive things I am experiencing NOW into the FUTURE. This means HOPE says, “Months from now I will be better of than even now.”

The problem with hope is our tendency toward the opposite. We could have the tendency if we are not healing, feeling or working through things to say to ourselves, “Months from now, I’m going to be screwed and worse off.”

HOPE PROJECTS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF BEING INTO YOUR FUTURE.

That being said, there ARE a couple things required of us to live a life of hope. To live a life of hope requires a positive current state to project into the future. This means that our current state needs to change.

There must be a CHANGE in our lives in order for us to begin a life of healing and hope. This change, though, requires a RISK be taken. Am I going to be willing to take risks for the cost of healing? If I want to know a life of healing; a life of hope, I have to be willing to take some risks so that change may come. If I stay COMFORTABLE in my current state (the one without healing) I will project THAT state into my future, and I will be the same or worse months from now.

On the other hand, if I look at my current state and get bold enough to take a risk and change it, I will begin to see healing and change. Then my current state changes and I can project it into my future…THIS is hope.

“but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE. And HOPE does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” – Romans 5:3-5